Some day in mid 2013

Im trying hard to keep myself away from falling sad or crazy. Im trying hard not to think how I will be soon, or that I have no money whatsoever and couchsurfing on my mams massage bed. Im trying hard no to burn any ideas and write them down.
Im trying hard to stay awake and sober, high or drunk kills me now. Im trying hard no to think about you, cause I could do it for hours. Im trying hard to keep me in my place, be patient and slow down even more. I got no distance left to go.
I have found myself with so many needs, I need a place, my own. I need a money to buy me a look, underware and basically a brand new style, take out the same old one and start all over again.
That life that has been awaiting at all times and refuses to go, its there, here in me.
Its exactly where I left it, yes I have changed but life goes on,
Im out lawed, got no papers and no number, any gadgets or some girls.
I could use this and that but the truth is that the situation is delicate
No time to run away, no time to play fool again
Lines on my face only get deeper
I want only happy lines
on my face
I want only smiles
on my face
I wish your brain
is doing fine
not like mine.